Glasscasting: A Hidden Skill

Last night I did this, and took my first steps down a path. A path to Glasscasting mastery.

Looks easy right? It is, until it consumes your life.

Balance is the key to Glasscaster grandmastery. All things in life need balance and these glasses are no exception.

I had Ben and Joe over and I wanted to impress them when they left the room for a moment. It just so happened that there were empty cups and shotglasses all over the counter. So I was like, ‘Let’s Glasscast this shit Bello.” At the time, I didn’t even bother pat myself on the back for creating a new word, I was too excited. But I didn’t want to start off too crazy. My first attempt is what you see above.

I know, it’s so glorious that it could be mistaken for a vision of the Virgin Mary, a divining rod and my Stigmata all at once, but it’s actually just two shotglasses on top of each other. Alone in the kitchen I realized I had to be more daring, and I thought, “I can do better.” Well I took my own advice and pushed my limits.

As a side note the dudes were getting ready to leave because it was very late. Joe can be irrational, rational and funny all at the same time. When the stars align in this manner, it’s best to just sit back and let nature take its course. That’s how this happened.

Ok, back to Glasscasting. So SOMEHOW they still weren’t that impressed, and I encourage them to stay. Just five minutes longer I say. I can do better, I say. And the thing is, I don’t lie.

They seemed to be sort of awed but not that awed. I mean think that’s pretty impressive and I also want to explain why. Tonight I had to replace the Insinkerator because it swallowed a shotglass and they generally break when they do that. It took us three dudes like around an hour to replace the busted Insinkerator with a brand new one, and oh Christ did it ever smell like hot sweaty vomit for the entire time. Anyway the point here is that I shouldn’t have even been balancing shotglasses near the sink in the first place, because fixing a problem that stemmed from broken glass just cost us at least an hour.

So we’d finished installing the new Insinkerator and hung out for some beers, and by the end of the night we’d amassed a decent collection of empty glasses. By the end of the night I started balancing all the glassware we’d used. What you see above is the middle picture. Below, you’ll find the transition. The ascent into insanity, if you will.

bum bum Bum Bum BUM BUM BUM BUM

Can I just say that’s nuts? Sure Ben and Joe were long gone by this point. Sure it could have come crashing down at the slightest off balance. Sure my bare feet would have been damaged and sure my neighbors (not to mention Sarah) would be woken up and startled by a shitload of glasses crashing into the sink/kitchen floor at 1am. But I didn’t care, I was drunk. I balanced the CRAP out of that glassware without any assistance or adhesive or any cheating at all. I found a hidden skill! They were all slippery and it WAS dangerous a little because we had just gotten finished with fixing the sink, but that’s still the real deal. I think used up about three years’ worth of ninja skills to tiptoe to my camera just to get a picture of what it looks like when you flip off the god of physics. Woooorth it.

So here’s what I’m trying to say. Sure I’ve been drinking, but I balanced the crap out of all these glasses. It was a hidden mastery that I didn’t even know existed in me! It was very fun and maybe I shouldn’t have, but I felt the urge to build.

Shotglasses, Wine Glasses, Steins, Watercups and Sam Adams glasses! Rise and be measured…your master is here.  


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