How to Spend Immortality

A. Bello’s Log: Day 11,316

The sun rises yet again. I open my eyes and emerge from blissful R.E.M. into full consciousness, like I have every day since the beginning of time. I’ve walked this world for an eternity, and my plan is working flawlessly. I am immortal.

So far I’ve been here forever. My experience stretches eons. There was nothing before me and there will be nothing afterwards; as far as I’m concerned the multiverse began with my first memory and will never end, just like me.  After well over 11,000 consecutive days of life, I’m more than confident of my perpetual existence.

And I’ve taken steps to ensure my continued satisfaction in this world.

I have hobbies and interests to pursue, and it’s a good thing I have infinite days because I still have lots to do. There are countless skills to hone, there is infinite knowledge to harvest and cull. My current to-do list is daunting.

I’ve got books to read.

I’ve got level caps to reach and treasure to find.

I’ve got beers to drink, bacon to eat.

I’ve got old techniques to master, and new ones to learn.

I have movies to watch (still).

I have projects to finish and themes to complete.

I still have upgrades to make to my combat chassis. The robot legs are still en route from Japan though, so I don’t have a picture yet.

It really is a good thing that I’m so immortal. I’ll probably need an entire day for Inception alone; four hours to actually watch the movie, and 20 more to piece my shattered mind back together afterwards.

But just for argument’s sake, what if I was already say, 1/2 or even 1/3 of the way through my remaining days, wouldn’t that be absurd? Topping off at 333,948 sunrises really isn’t that much when you think about it; it’s not even a million. I have too much to do, and that’s only counting my current to-do list.

People can tell me that I’m wrong and that time I need to prioritize, but why should I? Why settle for just mastering a few skills when I can be an ace of all trades, if I stick with all of them long enough? What about the billion other topics I still know nothing about? Flying a helicopter? Learning Chinese? Playing piano? Women? For Christ’s sake I still have to beat Dark Souls.

But I have all the time in the world.

Don’t scoff! I’ve been right 11,316 times so far and tomorrow will be 11,317. The odds are in my favor!


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