A New Leaf

So check it.

Based on your collective literal years of silence I could tell that you all were just sitting, waiting, practically aching for my return to the blogosphere. Waiting for the return of a semisane segment of the internet where you can unwind for a bit. Waiting for so long…

For unedited fun.

For one-sided jokes and witty banter.

For the occasional serious-ish usually rant-inspired political commentary.

For heartfelt, trustworthy advice about what to do whenever you form an opinion about something but aren’t sure what to do with it:

Unwrap your opinion

Heh, see?? See what we’ve been missing out on?! All this time we’ve been growing in our own separate ways when we could’ve been growing together. You don’t really wanna grow solo, do you?

Don’t answer that.

Ah, I got sidetracked. Back to me. Here’s my idea:

You tell me what to write

Publicly comment on this post – not on my facebook – and give me a topic to write about. Could be anything!

Basically, I’m asking y’all for a writing assignment. Maybe a fantastical situation like how an elf might break into a castle using magic. A serious question about serious shit, like say guns or flags or other things that get people riled up on facebook currently. How about living on a deserted island with only a spoon? What’s it like to be a stone gargoyle who just woke up for the first time in 600 years in modern day Germany? Is it okay to scare someone if they laugh about it after? Should we forget that CRISPR-Cas9 even exists, or should we start cranking out humans that we stat out like a character in the newest Fallout game? And if we do, how much do we charge to hold the controller?

Why is it still okay for people to refer to hamburger as “hamburg”???

If you really live on the edge ask me to write about what I eat in a single day. My point is, there’s lots of topics out there and my writing’s gotten rusty. Friends, anonymous folk and internet strangers…Help me sharpen me up?

Ugh – so, the rules. Gotta say ’em, but they’re super easy.

  1. I’ll pick one topic to write about per week.
  2. A week might go by and I might not pick a topic if I don’t like any of ’em. Incentivize me – and everyone – with fun suggestions! Blow my mind!
  3. If your topic/suggestion is super weird, super gross or super offensive (for this blog haha) I just won’t publish it. That way no one will know but you and I, (and I won’t tell anyone), so I guess like, shoot for the stars! Worst case scenario is it remains private.

Sound fun right?

No, you don’t think so?

That’s okay, I can help with that. First, unwrap your opinion…


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4 thoughts on “A New Leaf

  1. Mike Lee on said:

    I’m not sure how the hell I ended up here… Let’s hear your thoughts on leaving the country, becoming a mexican and sneaking back over the border.

    • Hey Mike! The internet can be confusing – but I’m glad you found your way.

      This is an interesting suggestion. I’m going to keep the polling open for another day or so. Then, if nothing else comes along that strikes my fancy we can all look forward to a tale that begins with a cultural transition and ends with border infiltration!

  2. Pingback: The Transition | bellobitesback

  3. Darth Shitius on said:

    This wolf is battling with a bobcat and they fall into this radioactive river.

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